Confusion

I thought I got over him
I thought I could move on

But..
There were always "buts" in the end

I just kept coming back to him
My heart was aching to be his again
Or to make him mine

Did I still love him then?
Wasn't it to make myself feel better when things didn't work out with a new person?
To think "It's OK because I still love HIM. No Wonder it didn't go well"

To protect myself from the pain of rejection
To keep myself from thinking nobody loved me

I was weak
Crying by myself in the dark
Failing to recognize my own worth

Maybe I just needed something to hold on to